Turning Red

OK Heidi, my nipples are rashing-up and still no labor. My wrists kinda hurt too. At what point can I stop this?

Hazardous

Between anxiously waiting for her to go into labor and this Sunday's game I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a heart attack.

If Only

From the yet unpublished Joe Bugel's Guide To Coping With Labor Pain:
"Tape an aspirin on it. Tape an Alka-Seltzer on it. Let it dissolve. "