Wednesday, September 9, 2009

These Lying Eyes

I drove by a store called "Baby and Horse Boutique." I was driving quickly, and I left my neck above half arching back for a better look at the store-front. Babies and horses? That's ridiculous, I said; then I pulled my head back around and drove away.

Upon inspection, these old eyes they fool me: 'Body and Home Boutique' is the actual name of the store. That makes more sense, I said, pulling the reigns back, and Rusty and I trotted off.

Monday, September 7, 2009

10 Years, Classroom: You're On

This guy says his kids will be smarter than your kids. And my kids. Everyone ever.

If you even think you may want kids one day, he's calling your possible future kids out, bro's

Of course, he has a point:
Tools like the Nintendo DS are extremely powerful and will be in my children's hands.

There are other learning games around like Brain Age and whatnot that don't help with specific skills, but help overall cognitive thinking. That, to me, is much more crucial than knowing your multiplication tables or how to spell specific words.

I agree.

I too am raising my tikes using that paragon of brain development, Nintendo, and in 10 years, we'll meet your kids in the classroom, or on the set of a movie, and brain punch them.

Turning Red

OK Heidi, my nipples are rashing-up and still no labor. My wrists kinda hurt too. At what point can I stop this?


Between anxiously waiting for her to go into labor and this Sunday's game I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a heart attack.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Genius of Trent Dilfer Strikes Again

Transcripts of sports play-by-play and talking head shows should exist. That would help me out.

Since they don't yet exist (until the day some stenographer, Redskins-loving, father-to-be stumbles upon this very post) I have to recount this tale sans proof.

After the BYU / Oklahoma upset, the heads were talking sprained AC joints; specifically, the weeks required to recover from one. The main head says that the medical experts they'd talked to say 2-4 weeks, but Trent Dilfer, who's sprained his AC joint umpteen times, claims it could just be a week or so, severity notwithstanding.

So they caveat the advice of medical experts with the advice of quarterback—and apparently now medical—expert Trent Dilfer.

For the second time in the last hour: What the hell?

Movie (Trailer) Review

Whiteout: What the hell?


Glancing at the NFL coverage map for week 1, it appears that—unlike most of the country—I won't be able to watch the Redskins from home confines (of Medford, Oregon). Damn.

Saturday, September 5, 2009


Yesterday was the due date…do I just sort of wait around now?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Life Lesson

Son, if you taunt your opponent, moments after defeating him in an emotional battle, you might get punched in the face.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


I purposely did not consult a single statistic in formulating the analysis that follows.
   –Trent Dilfer describing his QB ranking system


Is what I would name my son if I lived in China.

It's also the sound of NFL ownership tills around the country.

According to Forbes 2009 list of NFL valuations, the NFL is still raking dough hand-over-fist.

In terms of total value Dallas tops the list at $1.65 billion, the Redskins are a near (by Federal Government accounting standards at least) number two at $1.6 billion.

Those are the newsmaking numbers.

Lesser reported is the Redskins decimating the league in operating income: $90 million with the closest team $20 million behind. Dallas had an operating income of just $9.2 million. With a income like that how do those beers and grub prices strike you now?

Also of note are player expenses, including benefits and bonuses. For all the flak Dan Snyder takes for being a supposed human ATM, the Redskins spent $139 on player expenses in 2008. Compare that to the other top 5 valuable teams: $165 (Dallas), $131 (Patriots), $139 (Giants), $141 (Jets), $140 (Texans).

Sure, feeding and paying Albert Haynsworth costs a hundred mil alone; but we're not exactly trying to buy a championship here, unless you think the Texans are too.